Jak Spoof Let Us See
by xXxrisenangelxXx
Summary: Jak and the Gang have to endure some crazy ideas that have to do with school. FIFTH CHAPTER: HALLOWEEN! rated T for language themes
1. I'm Really Hungry

**Risen Angel: I'm like super bored and it's Geometry… boredom plus math equals Brain Blast!!**

**C.P.: How?**

**Risen Angel: Well… I'm gonna make a spoof I guess. I'm gonna put Jak and the gang in scenarios…. That are school related le gasp!**

**C.P.: You do that… I'm gone.**

**Risen Angel: Sweet! Let's get rolling!**

"I'm Really Hungry"

It was a wonderful day in Haven City… it was about fifteen minutes to lunch. Jak, our favorite dark and light elf was walking to New Haven to have a meeting about security.

"Who the hell is talking?" he yelled, hearing the narrator talking overhead. Poor pathetic elf who is going to be tortured. "What?!" Yes, and with a spoon! He stopped walking and stared up at the sky. "Okay…" He continues walking and continuously looks over his shoulder to make sure there wasn't someone following. I sure hope he knows people will think he's gone crazy. "Shut UP!"

All of a sudden…

"What the fudge did you do that for?!"

A loud rumbling noise echoes through the whole city!

It got really quite.

A few people by Jak stared at him with disbelief. There was no way that noise had come from him. They continued walking and he ran to the Naughty Ottsel, which was the other way, away from the New Haven area.

"Wait, stop!" a man said chasing Jak.

"What?" he yelled and stopped.

"I have a spoon…."

"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!" Jak screamed and his stomach growled loudly once more. He ran to the bar and into the kitchen. "Daxter!"

The little orange rat was nowhere to be seen. Jak went to the fridge and ate everything that was edible. Even the spinach that makes his stomach squirm.

"Why?" he asked out loud, even though his mouth was full of peas. The peas fell out of his mouth like a river.

"Jak?" a female elf asked, her voice seemed to be filled with worry.

"Keira?" he asked, his mind was completely screamin 'Help!' "Please tell me that you are hearing a voice."

"No… Are you okay?" she walked into the kitcehn.

"Uh… define okay."

"Are you well… not hearing or seeing anything?"

"Well, let's see… I keep hearing this voice who seems to repeat my every action. It's driving me totally insane. And I'm fetching hungry!"

"There is a simple solution."

"What? Tell me!"

"Eat a spoon."

Jak stared at her in disbelief. "You're kidding right?"

"No…"

Jak screamed and tried to pull out his hair. "Shut up you stupid voice!"

FIN

**Risen Angel: Well that was hilarious. Don't you think?**

**Jak: I hate you.**

**Risen Angel: I love you too! Now for reviewers… give me ideas. Any random thought that you have had at school. This one was about being really, REALLY hungry right before lunch. I know I am everyday. **

**Jak: Do you really plan on torturing me?**

**Risen Angel: Yes and others will be helping.**

**Jak: What?!**

**Risen Angel: Muwhahahahhahaha!! Also I will post another chapter every week until we run out of ideas. Trust me this is going to take forever!**


	2. Books Hurts

**Risen Angel: Okay, I've procrastinated for far too long!! I need to get this done for Tornscommando09!**

**Jak: What are you gonna do to me now?**

**Risen Angel: Who knows… Anyways… Let's! Get! Going!! Oh and sporks rule!**

**Jak: What?!**

"Books Hurt"

Jak was having a bad day. Today was was going to actually have the meeting with Ashelin and Torn, and he was regretting not letting them know why he bailed on them before. "Grrrr…" He walked into the Freedom League Head Quarters and into the lobby. Every bloody person was there. He even saw Sig!

"Eh. Chilli-Pepper! Long time, no see!" Sig said.

"Yeah. Two months. Whew!" Jak said sarcastically.

"Don't get snippy with me boy." the bigger elf warned. "Why didn't you come two days ago?"

"Because I have an issue still to be dealt with." Jak answered and mumbled, "Stupid voice." He yelped suddenly as if someone had pulled his ear forcefully.

"It's about time everyone got here." a snide voice said. Jak looked up and saw Ashelin. "Let's get this over with."

Jak listened half-heartedly as the two short-tempered people lectured on and on about the safety measures that they were going to in force. Jak leaned against a wall and closed his eyes. Not like he needed to keep his eyes open to hear everything that they were saying. Nothing new.

The words going into his head seemed to disappear and his thoughts went to later that night. Keira was inviting him to dinner for the first time in a long time.

"Jak!"

"Huh? Wha?" he yelled out and snapped his eyes open, looking around startled. His eyes were heavy.

"Did you hear a word we just said?" torn yelled.

"More or less. Which do you prefer?"

"I would like to say more, but I highly doubt it."

"Good choice. It's all the same rules as Praxis', just not as tough. Why do I need to be here?"

"Because we ordered you to." Ashelin snapped.

"Like I should be taking orders from you!" Jak yelled and growled, "I'm leaving." Jak walked away and heard Torn grunt. He spun around and was hit in the face with a giant book.

Jak took a staggering step and whispered, "Night, night." he fell to the ground in a giant heap and passed out.

Jak sat up in bed and stars swarmed his head. "You do know I hate this." he growled and put a hand to his head. "Oh, my aching head."

"What the hell Torn?!" Keira screeched and a loud slap and few curses later Keira stormed into the room he was in. "Oh Jak."

"What?" he asked, highly confused.

She sat next to him and put a soft havd to his forehead. "You have a huge bruise." He cringed at her touch and the stars attacked.

"Wow, books really hurt." he moaned and closed his eyes, laying back down.

"Wll they should when the weigh a ton. Don't worry." she coaxed and ran her fingers through his thick mat of hair, "I'll nurse you back to health."

"Yeah. That sounds good."

**FIN**

**Risen Angel: Oh… I love a happy ending!**

**Jak: Oh I know I do.**

**Risen Angel: You didn't yell at me. Yay!!**

**Jak: I still hate you.**

**Risen Angel: Yeah. I figured. Well it wasn't exactly my idea, so don't blame me.**

**Jak: Whose fault is it?Risen Angel: I'm not telling. Means I'll probably lose one more reviewer if I set you loose.**

**Jak: What makes you think that?**

**Risen Angel: Oh I just know things. Remember to ****Read**** and ****Review!!**


	3. Spoon vs Spork

**Risen Angel: Idea has struck again!**

**Jak: What are you going to do to me?**

**Risen Angel: Oh, you're gonna be in a fight.**

**Jak: Really?! Yes!!**

**Risen Angel: {grins evilly}**

"Spoon vs. Spork"

It was a very gloomy day in Haven City. "Oh please don't start it like this." Jak complained and groaned. Anyways, it was gloomy because Jak's arch-nemesis, Errol, was back from the dead. "What?!" Yes, Errol, robot for the Dark Makers, ex-commander for the Krimzon Guard and now a loyal army man for the spoons. "What?!"

Jak shook his head and walked over to a wall. He banged his head against it in a whim to get rid of the voice. Poor elf will never realize that the voice will never leave. "I hate my life."

"Oh Jak." a nasally voice said, a voice that Jak knew very well.

Jak looked over his shoulder and groaned. He hit his head again and turned around. "What do you want Errol? My life is going down hill right now and I'm going insane."

"That means it will be all the more fun to battle." Errol said and put his hand to his back pocket. He pulled out a….

"Ah… Come on!" Jak yelled and banged his head against the wall again.

"Battle me!" Errol yelled and charged at Jak.

Jak stepped out of the way and Errol banged into the wall. "I don't need this." Jak pulled out his spork and poked Errol in the back.

"Oww. Why did you do that?"

"Because I hate you. I don't know where this thing came from." Jak said and the voice laughed. "Would you shut UP!!!" No, I cannot, because I was the one who put the spork in you pocket, because I know how much you hate spoons. "Oh. Thanks. Now to fight!"

Errol blocked Jak's attack with a strong parry. "You will not win!" Errol yelled, "Spoons are the most amazing things ever! You and you're spork are no match for me and my spoon of doomly-ness."

"Oh yeah!" Jak said and his spork of awesomely-ness turned purple. Sparks of Dark Eco surged through it. "Beat that!"

Errol stared at it and then at his metal spoon. "Uh…." Jak sprang at him and stabbed his spork of awesome-ness into the spoon.

"No! Not Spoon the Dirty! Noooo!!!!!!!!"

"Oh but it has happened. Die Errol!" Jak yelled and attacked Erol with his Dark Spork

"Ahhh… Dang it! I loved that spoon. I raised it from when it was just a baby spoon."

"Spoons were baby-spoons?" Jak asked, putting his spork to Errol.

"Why yes. Didn't you know?"

"Uhhh…."

"Ha! Finally something you do not know."

Jak stared at Errol with a smirk. "There are many thing I don't know. Like why I'm being tortured with this annoying voice, but I do know however…" he paused and glared at Errol. "That I will kill you with my spork of awesome-ness!"

Erol stared at the purple spork and screamed, "Le-gasp! Please! No!"

"Too late!" Jak said smugly and struck Erol with his Dark Spork.

Errol vanished in a puff of smoke. "HA! I win Errol!" Jak said and walked away twirling his Dark Spork between his fingers. "Who know I would actually side with an eating utensil?" Oh you silly Jak. I would!

FIN

**Jak: Once again… I seriously HATE you.**

**Risen Angel: And I seriously love you too. Now that we have noted that, I am sorry to all spoon lovers out in the world, but sporks are amazing!**

**Jak: What are going to do to me later?**

**Risen Angel: You shall see. You shall see. Oh and please I beg of you READ and REVIEW!! Or you shall all die by the mighty awesomeness that is known as SPORKS!!!!!**


	4. Being Sick Sucks

**Risen Angel: I got another idea!**

**Jak: What now?**

**Risen Angel: Being sick.**

**Jak: I don't get sick!**

**Risen Angel: In this you do what I will! Sit!**

**Jak: I'm not gonna sit.**

**Inuyasha: What the hell?!**

**Jak: Welcome to my life.**

"Being Sick Sucks"

It was a warm sunny day in Haven City. The mutated birds were singing happily. The children were playing in the park and everything was fantabulous. "Not really!" Jak yelled and sneezed loudly. Well for Jak it was torture because he was sick. He was sitting on the couch in Keira's living room, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a bowl of steaming soup in his hands.

Keira walked into the room and sat down next to him. "How are you feeling?" she asked

"Like hell took over." he moaned and sniffed.

"Did you eat the soup?" she asked.

"No. It looks like what the insides of an elf looks like."

"Well it helps." she said stubbornly and took the bowl. "Do I need to feed you?"

Jak stared at her. "You wouldn't."

"Oh I will." she said and put the soup on the table. She pushed him into a laying position and straddled him.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you want me to do this."

"I do?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?" Jak asked and I finally had to intervene. Yes you moron, you do want you to do this! You love her! Are you that ignorant! He cringed and laughed. "All right. What would you do if I did this?" He cupped her face and kissed her, a smile spread across their faces.

"Then I would do this." she kissed him back.

Aha! Finally! Jak sat up and pulled Keira closer. "You know your gonna get sick too." he said and sniffed.

"If I'm gonna be sick, I'm gonna be sick with you." she said and pushed back his mop of hair. "Which means you will be eating that soup."

Jak made a disgusted face and Keira pinched his nose. "Please don't torture me so." he begged and put his hand to her sides. "Or I will you." he tickled her and she went into a fit of laughter.

She pushed his hands away forcefully and tugged his ear. He cringed and put his hands up in surrender. "You know that I snort when I laugh."

"Yes, but I will always find it to be adorable. No matter what you say." he said and kissed her again.

Keira backed up when she saw Jak's nose tighten to hold in a sneeze. He turned and sneezed loudly. Keira handed him the box of tissues and he blew his nose. "I hate being sick." he moaned and looked at Keira, his eyes were droopy from lack of sleep. "If I eat that soup, will it put me to sleep?"

"In a way yes. I can put a drug in it to make you sleep." she offered and climbed off the couch. "Take your temperature while I go fix it up."

"Okay." Jak agreed and obeyed, putting the electronix thermometer in his mouth. He shivered and laid back down.

The thermometer beeped as soon as Keira walked into the room. She took it and looked at the readings, a face of worry as she read it. "Your on bed rest until I say differently." she said, "You have a fever of 105. You aren't leaving this couch unless you really have to go to the bathroom."

Jak stared at her in disbelief. "But I just have the sneezes, runny nose, sore throat and high fever."

"Doesn't matter. You have the flu."

"It's summer time!"

"Well… I can't do anything about that. Eat as much of the soup as you can and get some sleep. I'm gonna see if I can find some more blankets."

Jak took the soup and picked up the spoon. It was really creamy and did look like the insides of an elf. He took a bite of it and felt the warm soup go down his throat, traveling down and warming his empty stomach. The drug that Keira had put into it was already taking it's toll. He sat the bowl down on the table and laid back, closing his eyes.

Keira walked in with two heavy blankets. She put them over Jak's sleeping body and pushed back a lock of hair. "Sleep well Jak." she whispered and kissed him on the forehead. His lips curved into a smile.

**FIN**

**Risen Angel: I like this one. Took forever to finish, but I this one at least I don't annoy Jak to no end.**

**Jak: Yeah… I like this one too.**

**Keira: I know I like it.**

**Risen Angel: My work here is done. Remember to ****READ**** and ****REVIEW****!!! I need more ideas!**


	5. This Is Halloween

**Risen Angel: Hahahahahahahah!!! Halloween has finally come! Time for eating much candy, dressing up and celebrating the All Hallow's Eve. I do believe that it is the time when spirits are most able to cross over to what ever side they wish to. And now… for a special spoof of ****SINGING!**

**Jak: What?!**

**Risen Angel: Yes. Now you shall bend to my will. Mwahahahahahahaha!!!**

"This is Halloween"

"Momma! Trick-or-Treat!" a tiny child screamed, he wore a costume with silver hair, black eyes, grey skin and horns growing out of his mask's head.

"What are you supposed to be?" an older lady asked, holding out a bowl filled with tooth-rotting goodness.

"Jak!" he yelled happily.

Jak looked at the young boy and stuffed his hands into his coat pockets. "Great. Now I'm a Halloween costume." he mumbled and walked his way to the Naughty Ottsel,

Loud booming music radiated out of the building and Tess was standing outside, dressed as a skimpy witch. "Jak! Great to see you!" she gave him a hug. "How you feeling after that flu?"

"Better. Keira is amazing."

"Well good. Cause she's already here. Are you going as yourself?"

"Yeah. Some kid is dressed up as my dark side. Home-made too."

Tess giggled and pushed Jak inside. The whole inside was dark, but spider web decoration and random scary items were everywhere. Strobe lights made it all the more better.

Jak made his way to the bar, where he knew Daxter would be doing something. Keira came up to the bar and she hooked her arm around his. "Keira!" He hugged her and looked at her costume. "What are you supposed to be?"

She wore a torn to the thighs bridal dress, the sleeves were torn in several places. Her skin was painted a white color and her eyes were painted a black color. "A dead bride!" she answered and gave him a kiss. "How are you feeling?"

"Great!" he replied and looked around. "Wanna dance?"

"Sure!"

They walked over to the middle of the dance floor and danced to the music. "And now for fun!" the DJ yelled, "Some karaoke!" a loud cheer erupted. "Let's have Jak, Daxter and Torn come up!"

Jak froze and looked up at the DJ. "What?! No!" Keira laughed and pushed him up there. Ashelin was literally pulling Torn by the ear and Daxter was flying up here. "Sweet!" the DJ yelled, "Now which one of you is gonna chicken out?" Torn raised his hand and ran.

"Daxxie!" Tess yelled and waved. "I need help in the back."

"Ahh… Come on!" he bounded off the stage and left Jak. Jak flinched and looked out at the crowd.

"Ahh… Shit." he groaned and said, "Fine! What am I gonna sing?"

"This is Halloween." the DJ answered and gave him a mic. "Look at the screen and sing it. It's the Marilyn Manson version. Have fun!"

Jak took the mic and the music started. "Oh shite." he said and looked around. Keira waved up at him and smiled.

"Boys and girls of every age

Wouldn't you like to something strange?

Come with us and you will see

This, our town of Halloween

"This is Halloween, this is Halloween

Pumpkins scream in the dead of night

"This is Halloween, everybody make a scene

Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright

It's our town, everybody scream

In this town of Halloween"

The people were actually singing along so that made it better and the DJ was mixing it to make it sound just like the version that song was. The lights up above them was blinking rapidly moving with the beat of the song.

"I'm the one hiding under your bed

Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red

I'm the one hiding under your stairs

Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair"

Jak blinked and his eyes turned black, his horns popped up without any pain, but his skin stayed the same color as before.

"This is Halloween, this is Halloween

Halloween, Halloween, Halloween

In this town we call home

Everyone hail to the pumpkin song

"In this town, don't we love it now?

Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can

Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll…"

Some people backed away from the trash cans and away from the corners. Were they actually taking this song seriously?

"Scream! This is Halloween

Red 'n' black, slimy green

Aren't you scared?"

Jak growled this last line and the many people listening jumped.

"Well that's just fine

Say it once, say it twice

Take a chance and roll the dice

Ride with the moon in the dead of night

"Every body scream, everybody scream

In our town of Halloween"

The DJ took the time to put a bloody murder scream into the song right there.

"I'm the clown with the tear away face

Here in a flash and gone without a trace

I am the 'who' when you call 'who's there'

I am the wind blowing through your hair

"I am the shadow of the moon at night

Filling your dreams to brim with fright

This is Halloween, this is Halloween

Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!

Halloween! Halloween!

"Tender lump lings everywhere

Life's no fun without a good scare

That's our job, but we're not mean

In our town of Halloween"

The break allowed Jak to catch his breath and the DJ put in a howl from the background.

"In this town

Don't we love it now?

Everybody's waiting for the next surprise"

A cheer came from the crowd and a few jumped up and danced. Keira moved to music in her own way and smiled brightly,

"Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back

And scream like a banshee

Make you jump out of your skin

This is Halloween, everyone scream

Won't ya please make room for a very special guy"

Jak's skin turned to the grey color and a spark of Dark Eco flickered over him. No one seemed to even noticed what was going on with him.

"Our man Jack is King of the Pumpkin Patch

Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King

This is Halloween, this is Halloween

Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!"

Jak panted and looked around. His senses were picking up everything, down to the heart beat of a spider over in the far corner. A spot light went over him and everyone gasped. They finally saw his transformation. Keira smiled up at him and climbed up onto the stage. She took the mic.

"In this town we call home

Everyone hail to the pumpkin song

La, la, la, la-la,

La, la, la, la-la, la

Halloween! Halloween!" she finished the song and joined Jak in a kiss.

The crowd gasped and cheered loudly!!

"Everyone having a good Halloween?!" the DJ asked and the crowd cheered. Jak and Keira made their way off the stage and the transformation stopped where it was.

"I think you look great like that Jak." Keira said and stroked one of his horns. He stiffened and smiled. His fangs bared and everyone backed away from them. "Great costume." she smiled and tapped her finger on his fang.

"You want me to go insane don't you." he growled and nuzzled her neck.

"May be." she mused and kissed his cheek. He growled again and kissed her. "Now… do you wanna go back to my place and finish this there?"

"Would it be wrong to say yes?" he asked and stroked her hair.

"Not in my book." she answered and led him out of the bar before something broke out between them. "Take me home?"

"Sure thing." he answered and picked her up in his arms, bounding up into the sky and jumping across the building tops.

FIN

**Risen Angel: Not sure if that was how I wanted to end it, but it took forever to do and I'm not good at song-fics. This one is just proof of it. Once again let me know what you think and I'll take any tips that you can give me.**

**Jak: Why did you make me sing?!**

**Risen Angel: Because you shall bend to my will. That and you fit the part.**

**Jak: I hate you. I hate Halloween.**

**Risen Angel: Don't say that. I might do a cross-over and torment you more by making you be Jack Skeleton… wouldn't that be tons of fun Mister Gloom?**

**Jak: If I say that you can do whatever you want with me… will you leave me alone?**

**Risen Angel: Mmmm… Probably not. Because I still have to do the Phantom of the Opera cross-over with you… Darn procrastination.**

**Jak: Thank you procrastination.**

**Risen Angel: Once again… READ AND REVIEW I need more ideas and this is for Halloween and since I will not be here for it to be posted tomorrow I will post it tonight and you shall tell me what you think. That or I will sic the Dark Spork after you… trust me… it will come again.**


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